Breastfeeding rant

So I am still breastfeeding. This is no small miracle as I have a low milk supply. I have done everything to increase this ill fated supply - Motilium, Fenugreek (who would have thought that maple syrup smelling urine would be a bad side effect, but indeed it is), Korean seaweed soup (which I am now thoroughly sick of), oxtail and green papaya and fish soup, longan and date tea. If I was in school for effort to breastfeed I would definitely get an A. Sadly my milk is not flourishing, I cannot stomach a hungry, not-gaining-weight infant (screaming and wailing, did I mention the screaming and wailing?). I would like to say that I envy those who are awash with milk, but at this point I am resigned with my lot in life. I suppose you win some and lose some. I can still feel my stomach muscles (yay!) but have to use this contraption to be able to experience breastfeeding (and formula feeding) without pulling my eyeballs out.  As I have mentioned before I am over the breastfeeding Nazis (on an aside - someone said to me that my newborn was just trying to tell me something, like get something off her chest.  Hello?  She was just BORN.  I think angst needs some time to develop for more than, say, a few days.  She is telling me she is STARVING!).  Anyway, the thing that irks me the most is when people say that the baby is more efficient at getting to the milk than the breast pump, so you really don't know how much milk you are producing.  Really?  The pump is no indicator?  That just doesn't even make any sense.  If I am pumping an ounce there is no way Charlotte is pulling three ounces out of me.  It may not be perfect but it is a quantitative INDICATOR.  Maybe she is getting an ounce and a half at best.  I am a quantitative person and it drives me BONKERS when people seem to suggest that breastfeeding is some sort of smoke-and-mirrors black magic.  Some people just don't make enough milk for their kid - and I am one of them.  The other thing that drives me nuts is when people say that breastfeeding is cheaper than formula.  We have spent a lot of money on breast pumps and accessories (at the moment I have three breast pumps!  All is around $1200 SGD when all is said and done) and I dare say that amount of money would buy a ton of formula. 

Nevertheless I still plod along with feeding and pumping and feeding and pumping.  Because it is better for the Kumquat.

6 weeks old today!

Seems like a major milestone birthday.  Had a busy week - a photo shoot on Saturday (and Charlotte raised her head there - too cute!).  Birthday party (the moon party for our Charlotte Moon).  Grandma Kathy is here and it has been fun times.

Wearing a new soft shirt from Grandma Kathy and Aunt Becky:


In mid sneeze:


Her weekly "watcha talkin' 'bout Willis" look:


The smile we were looking for all week!


Photos from our Charlotte "Moon" Party (and my birthday party) - please click on the photo below to view the gallery:

I hate tummy time!

Charlotte is rather tummy time averse - though this video does not fully demonstrate the breadth of her tummy time rage.  This could be due to the fact she has, what appears to be, a heavy noggin.  She is rather cute with her Hello Kitty socks on her hands and her feet though...

Week 5

Here are some pics of Charlotte over the last couple of days.  She is indeed becoming quite the chubster - much to our delight!  We also have moved on from the Mao robes (with the very convenient hands) that she has been wearing to something a bit more 'summer.'  I have included a picture of her feet - too cute as she rests them while feeding...

Blast from the past - Uncle Randy's Annual Thanksgiving Speech

Ok, so this was my first Thanksgiving speech but I was there for the Christmas one last year!  Finally got a chance to put it online - especially meaningful now that Brooks and Charlotte have both safely arrived!  Uncle Randy is rather eloquent at these holiday family meals...

Shifting Paradigms

It is true that parenthood changes you.  I am not saying just the obvious schedule change, feedings, blah blah.  I think that your inherent nature changes.  Maybe not changes but shifts.  For instance, I am still holding some baby weight.  I know I know, it has been all of five weeks and I shouldn't obsess, but honestly I am not at my fighting weight... and maybe I will never be again and that is ok.  Dare I say I kind of like the new, poufier me, stretch marks and all.  I am in awe of what my body is capable of and maybe having a six-pack (ok for me, maybe a two pack) is not the biggest goal in my new world.  Also I had to reset the presets of my car radio the other day, and in the low 90's of the FM dial I stumbled upon... classical music.  And I liked it and kept it as a preset.  In my pre-mom days I would never have kept classical on the dial, but a some constant peace and serenity is surely welcome in my new, mommy world.  I still bother to wear a bra when I leave the house - I believe in letting some things go but not letting go entirely...

Videos

Charlotte went to the doc on Friday - she now weighs 3.97kg and is 53.5 cm long with a head circumference of 37 cm.  She put on 450 g in 9 days which is really great news! 

Here is a spattering of videos taken over the last couple of weeks. 

Bustin' out to old school Beastie Boys:


Sleeping in a swing:


Another day in a swing:

Charlotte at 4 weeks

Dear Charlotte,
You are at one month today, if you consider a month 4 weeks that is.  Who knew you would be so old!  In some respects time has flown, but in others it seems molasses slow.  The bags under our eyes seem to be permanent, I think I have added some gray to my already gray highlights, but it has been worth it to know you.  You are a very smiley baby and seem to be content if your needs are met (as long as we know what your needs are).  We are lucky that you are more or less sleeping through the night save one feed so now we need to try to sort out your day schedule some.  You seem so interested in the world around you!  Plus you won't sleep unless you are against someone's person during the day, whether Daddy (and his famous daughter and daddy sleep shots) or mommy in her sling (wow how did you fit inside me?  You are so HEAVY on the outside).  We think you are fattening up, which makes us (and your Auntie Min) so happy.  Plus there is some regularity with your, um, regularity, so that makes us (especially daddy) happy as well.  In the Chinese confinement realm you have been confined enough at this point (either today or 2 days from now) so we are planning a party for you on mommy's birthday in a week and a half.  We won't parade you around like some sort of Louis Vuitton bag we promise.

We have minimized your visitors so hopefully your immune system is doing well!  There is something to be said about confinement.

Love, Your mom, who is in desperate need of some body hair maintenance

Inquisitive

Pensive shots

On the verge of a smile

Off of the verge of a smile

Wow, all this photography is making me tired!

Good article on breastfeeding

I cannot tell you how tired I am of the zealous articles and people who talk of breastfeeding like it is the next messiah.  Here is a more analytically driven perspective from The Atlantic.

Random baby recommendations

Below, in no particular order, are recommendations of baby related things:

• Taking Charge of Your Fertility - this book is surprisingly well written for an expository for how to conceive.  The three magical words worked for us within a month of trying - slippery egg whites.
• Nursing Mothers Handbook - a good overview of breastfeeding that is not written by a breastfeeding nazi (of which there are a lot out there - consider yourself warned if you elect to go down this route).  The birth is a sprint, and breastfeeding is a marathon.
• Dr. TC Chang - my OB/GYN who is like your super smart older brother.  Has a great bedside manner.  Not alarmist.  A lovely guy who loves what he does.  I could not have asked for a better doctor.
• Hypnobirthing - A good idea and practice that I did not use at all during my birth.  The relaxation techniques are more useful during breastfeeding (I like to call it hypnoboobing).
• babycenter.com -Seemingly a better baby resource than a everyone-has-a-voice-including-your-worst-case-scenario pregnancy resource
• Medela Pump In Style Advanced - don't beat around the bush and just get this pump.  I should own stock in Medela considering how much stuff of theirs I have  bought
• Nice bath soaps - there is little luxury in this period so a good bath gel makes a big difference in your spirits.  I now like Body Shop's Japanese Cherry Blossom Bath Gel.
• Umma - Mother and Child - the most sensible lactation consult we have found.  Go early and often.
• My Brest Friend nursing pillow - the 'shelf' helps but is even better with the occasional pillow underneath
• Javanese Massage - nice to have someone come over and massage me for $40US a day.  Could not commit to the belly wraps.  I guess I'll need to get more exercise later.
• Yoga with Colleen - in the end the pregnancy yoga was MUCH more helpful with the birth than the hypnobirthing was, especially building my thigh muscles up so I could squat appropriately while delivering... on the stairs.

Random pictures are below:

 

My feet in a fat suit again.  Apparently I have slightly low iron causing these tree trunks.

My bound belly, courtesy of Indonesian massage.  The Southeast Asia version of postpartum Spanx.  I couldn't really commit to it as it interfered with the sacrosanct breastfeeding.

 

Our utterly neglected dog Bucky, photo courtesy of fabulous Em.

 

Charlotte in the bouncy chair from Shirley!

Happy 3 week birthday!

Here is a great photo of our little Kumquat the day before the 3 week mark.  What a great smile!  She has been smiling since Week 36 in utero.  Photo courtesy of the brilliant photography skills of our good friend Em from Thailand via Macau, who is graciously helping us out this week.

Busy weekend

Here is a pic of Charlotte sleeping on her own little lambie :).

Below are pics of Charlotte and Daddy sleeping.  She is her father's daughter.

Here is a short family video from Sunday.