Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Cheese curd's slightly less crazy birth story

The birth story of the Cheese Curd (alternative title: don’t hate me because I can’t feel my labor)

Disclaimer – this story is a real world account of giving birth – warts and bodily fluids and all.  I have attempted to accurately represent what happened for my own posterity.  It may be a bit graphic in parts – as I learned with our first baby there is no discretion when it comes to delivery – I instantly have no problem with random people I have never met before seeing me in various states of undress.  If you have a weak constitution for such details please consider yourself forewarned.

Thursday, December 8 - sometime during the day I feel like my water is leaking.  Great.  I put a pad in and lie down and promptly fall asleep.  No more water.  No more concern.

Saturday morning, December 10 - up with Charlotte at 5AM.  Same water leaking thing.  I look - all clear liquid and change panties and it goes away again.  I tell Matt that I am going to go see a doctor in the morning as this cannot be a good thing (note I had none of this leaking business with Charlotte).

8:50 AM - Matt drops me off at the local hospital 2 blocks from our house.  I have a contingency plan to deliver there as my actual doctor is on leave (and his hospital is far away).  I roam the halls to find an OB/GYN in the office who will see me.  There is only one in the whole building and she is fully booked.  I check in anyway but am not a fan of the potential hours long waiting game.  After I check in (and weigh in) I call my normal doctor's office.  My back up doctor there tells the nurse to tell me to go to the labor and delivery ward and get a CTG scan.  I talk to my back up doctor's office (at this nearby hospital - I had 2 back up doctors – one at this close hospital and one at my original doctor’s hospital) and tell them that this guy is my back up doctor and I am checking into L&D. I abandon my appointment with this random OB/GYN and head over the L&D.

9:45 AM - I check into L&D and there is no other patients there.  They are expecting me and I give them my admission letter and my birth plan.  I am put in this outpatient room, get this CTG scan from a nice nurse (Ms. Tan) and hope that they can tell me that my water bag is fine and that I can go home.   I am on this scanner for half an hour or so.  I am having mild contractions every 2-3 minutes but of course I have no clue.  Ms. Tan does an internal exam and tells me that I am in labor and already 6 cm dilated!  Of course I balk at this as I have plans for the day.  She tells me I cannot leave and that she has been in touch with my doctor's wife, also an OB/GYN as it seems my doctor is somehow unavailable.  I call Matt and tell him that I am stuck at the hospital and he says he is coming (it is a Saturday morning and he is at work).  I am placed in a delivery room and still have the CTG attached for what seems like 2 hours.  Matt and I put postage on our Xmas cards.  Reena (another nice nurse) comes and tends to me.  I explain I had a very fast first labor and the nurses are very attentive to this.  I keep asking how my contractions are and it is status quo.  Matt comes in and then leaves again to get my bag from home.  The doctor is not there - he is coming at 1PM.  I suppose I have a bit of an edge to me as I do not expect to admit myself.  Matt comes back with my bag of things and an apple turnover from Delifrance downstairs as I have eaten nothing all day.  I tell Matt about the doctor and he says he has heard that the doctor is out of town but will somehow be back in town at 1.  In the meantime I call my original doctor's office as there is some problem with admissions here not having my reservation.  I tell the nice nurse Esther about being admitted and the doctor not being there.  She tells me I should stay there and I tell her that the doctor is not even in yet - which contradicts what she is told about the whereabouts of the doctor.  Ms. Tan comes back basically saying the doctor is available - just not now (as I am sure she got wind about what I said about the doctor).  I told her it is fine (though I am nervous about the delivery and still not having a doc there).  Reena explains if there is no doctor the midwives will deliver- although the one OB/GYN I was going to see in the morning could also be a backup.  Matt thinks the doctor is out playing golf.

12:37PM – I miraculously feel some of the contractions during the CTG scans during this time.  I go to the toilet and I have bloody show - sort of streaky pink show really.  This is the first time that I actually think that I am in labor all day.  The doctor (a slight Indian man with a kind face) comes in shortly after 1 - in a dri fit Friso (baby formula brand) golf shirt.  So Matt is right after all.  The doctor does an internal exam - still 6 cm and it appears my water bag is still intact (later there is discussion that my hind water may be leaking).  The doctor asks me if I want my waters broken and I say no (knowing that any intervention could result in a C-section - an ending I am not wanting).  He gives me the option of laboring in L&D or laboring in a recovery room (but sadly not the option to go home).  We choose the latter.  We move our things upstairs to the Maternity (Recovery) ward then get some lunch downstairs at Delifrance.  All of a sudden I am nervous about spontaneously going into labor at Delifrance so I get the food to go eat in our sparse room upstairs.  Matt thinks I have lost my mind.

2:30 PM - I feel like I have to bear down (e.g. pass motion) and alert the nurse - who is oblivious to my request as I am not sure if she realizes I haven't had my baby yet.  I ask her to get an L&D nurse who does another internal exam - same as before (6cm).  There is stuff 'there' and I am asked if I want an enema and then (against my birth plan) I get one, in an attempt to be less pressured (literally).  It is a liquid that I am supposed to let sit in down there for a few minutes.  In a typical Ho way I am unable to last even a minute.  This relieves the pressure.  They do another CTG - same thing (contractions every 2-3 minutes) but I feel them even less than before.  Bloody show lasts on and off.  I try to take a nap while listening to the hypnobirthing tracks -which I could have done at home but am of course a bit more on guard and uncomfortable in the hospital so I sneak in a half hour nap.  I am awoken by the request to get my blood pressure and baby's heart beat measured.  Charlotte and Imee come over for a visit and Charlotte runs around the ward and I try to walk more to get things moving along.  My fear is that I will be in this state of labor flux for DAYS.  I go to the bathroom - more bloody show – there but not with an increase in volume.  Matt goes back home and gets stuff so we can watch a DVD on the book wall mounted TV.  He fiddles with this for a long time.

7:30 PM - the doctor shows up before he leaves for the day.  He is wearing a different golf shirt and jeans.  He tells me that I have had no change in status (it appears, though I have no other internal exam) and asks me to stay the night and if nothing changes overnight then maybe I could go home.  Matt and I stay even though I would still like to leave as this recovery room has a plastic bed and plastic pillows and we are both nursing colds that Charlotte has given us.  I ask if I don't go into labor if I am at risk for an infection - and the doctor says he doesn't know as this 'hind' water leakage has not been studied as the normal water breakage has (basically if you don't start labor 24 hours after the water bag breaks you are at a greater risk of passing an infection to your soon to be born child).  So reluctantly we stay, hoping to either have had a baby or be en route home by morning.

Matt plays with the TV for over an hour - even goes home to get another cable as the audio doesn't work (he never does get it to work).  We instead watch "Boardwalk Empire" streaming on my Mac.  We are tired and Matt passes out on my plastic bed.  I get ready for bed and lie down on his even more plasticky guest bed.  It nears 11 and we switch places after some loud rumbling noises outside wake Matt out of his slumber.  I sleep for a few hours.

1:50 AM - I am awoken by that same water aforementioned leakage issue.  I call the nurse and ask for someone from L&D.  Nancy the midwife comes up.  She tells me she has read my birth plan and suggests instead of doing an internal exam that I do another CTG to ensure that the baby is still ok.  I do this for 20 minutes.  Nancy comes back after half an hour (10 minutes after the CTG is finished) and tells me the results.  She says the heartbeat is fine and I have contractions every 1-2 minutes (and I still cannot feel them).  She tells me this hind water thing is an indicator but could be early labor – also that women have been at 6 cm for WEEKS.  O goodness.  After Nancy leaves I feel the need to bear down.  I call her again and tell her I need to go to Labor and Delivery as I haven’t had this bear down feeling since 3PM.  I am whisked down in a wheelchair.  Nancy tells us that they have called the doctor but he is delivering another baby so may not make the birth.  I ask Matt to bring some of my things (e.g. my computer, the birthing ball) but he refuses as he thinks I am not going to go into labor as I was much calmer/less in pain than I was with Charlotte.  I settle back into the delivery room (I think the same one from earlier today).  I still feel the need to bear down and Nancy surprisingly lets me go and I have a bit of #2 and my bloody show is getting bloodier (and pulpier).  I emerge in the room proud to show Nancy my now bloodier show, which she says means that my cervix is opening up.  I ask Matt to bring my things from upstairs which he finally does.  I turn on the computer (the hypnobirthing audio) and remarkably Nancy produces a copy of the Hypnobirthing book – something I have not even opened during this pregnancy (I have however listened to the audio tracks since the beginning of my pregnancy)!  We discuss how I will deliver (earlier in the day I am told that I could configure the bed like a birthing stool) and tell Nancy I would prefer to deliver squatting next to the bed (as I delivered Charlotte while squatting). 

3:16 AM - I go to the bathroom again – and my water breaks!  It is a warm gush and is clear.  I tell Nancy and she looks in my underwear and confirms it.  It continues to gush for a few minutes. I ask for another underwear (as now my second for the night is ruined by this water) and the hospital does not provide underwear (?)  and nice Nancy gives me her disposable one which she has to cut for it to fit and one of those monster maternity pads. 

Unlike with Charlotte my labor does not start straight away after my water breaks.  Maybe 15 minutes pass and then I sit on the bed in a yoga pose (dog? Turtle?)  with my head on the hands and my butt in the air while my knees are bent.  The surges / contractions are coming – they are short (e.g. 10 to 20 seconds each) but very frequent – so again like Charlotte it is like one continuous contraction. Nancy and another grumpy looking midwife ready the room for my labor. I ask them to leave as I am not digging the grumpy midwife’s vibe.

I call the midwife via button after a few minutes.  I feel the need to bear down / poo.  So Nancy and Grumpy put down a large plastic pad next to the bed and I squat.  I am holding onto Matt’s forearms as although I can squat – the pressure is beyond my thigh muscles’ capabilities.  I push – initially a #2 I can feel.  I get up for a second, get a quick wipe down, then feel the need to push – but this time it is the Cheese Curd!  I push on Matt for a few seconds, then the head is out.  I continue pushing while the midwife Nancy is yelling at me stop pushing and to breathe down the baby and to follow my surges.  I still have no idea the start or end of any of my contractions – I try to stop but instinctively continue to push.  Right around this time the doctor comes in.  I push out the body and hear that beautifully comforting sound of Cheese Curd’s crying.  Chaos ensues – Matt cuts the cord (his lesser involvement in the delivery this time), Baby is put on my chest briefly, Grumpy then weighs and measures the baby, these delivery pads and all of the excess of #2 and the afterbirth are put atop a stainless steel table, I make myself up to the bed to lie down.  The doctor then quickly delivers the placenta.  The doctor stitches me up (1 cm of tearing, 2 stitches – better than the 15 stitches from Charlotte) and I wince in pain (there is some local anesthetic but I am still a wimp in these type of pain situations).  As everyone leaves the baby is put on my chest again and we try breastfeeding – and she latches quickly.  Matt comments that the baby is purple and that the cord was wrapped around her neck!  He is glad he was not the doctor here, as our doctor (the one we just met yesterday) calmly unwound the cord and then Matt was asked to cut it [I saw Nancy a week later and learn that the cord was loosely around the neck – nothing too alarming.  I know if Matt was alone he would have freaked out with that and the baby’s purpleness].  The midwife comes back and tells me I had a lot of fecal matter and that the enema that I took earlier in the day probably didn’t work so well.  I am glad that she tells me this (and Matt reiterates) after the delivery as I think I would have been really distracted by that if I was told during.  Live and learn I guess.  At least I didn’t get any of it on the baby. 

I am wheeled to recovery.  Grumpy redeems herself by sweetly saying goodbye to us and our new baby.  Cheese Curd is sent to and bathed at the nursery and takes forever to come back.  After some asking we are informed that she is being warmed up in the nursery – we want her in the room with us!  Matt tries to get the warmer and the baby in the room and walks in the nursery to see that there are only 3 warmers and 15 babies in there.  Meanwhile I am told to stay in the bed for 6 hours.  I am given the option to pee in a bedpan which I refuse.  A kind nurse helps me to pee, I have these pads on with a belt and no underwear and feel like a sumo wrestler.  I am (again! like with Charlotte) asked if I am giddy (e.g. lightheaded) and I am fine, really very fine but exhausted – more from the lack of sleep prior to the delivery I think as I remember when we delivered Charlotte I felt like I was a rock star (on then 8 hours of sleep – all while in labor we now think) as opposed to the 3 I had this time with a stuffy nose.

We are glad we made it to the hospital this time – although I do now understand why doctors or mothers would want to move things along (e.g. have an intervention) as who likes to sit idly in a hospital for a long time?  I recognize that I am very lucky that I did not feel my labor (at least until 6 cm) and may have even been in labor two days before I gave birth.  It is far more comfortable to labor at home than to labor in a hospital.  Given my history however it was more prudent that I stay in (even though I was rather bored much of the time).  But of course in this case it is all about the destination and not the journey – and we are so happy that Cheese Curd emerged pink, healthy, and beautiful!

Cheese Curd was born on Dec 11, 2011 at 3:49 AM – 33 minutes after my water (finally broke) and 19 hours after I arrived at the hospital for what I thought was going to be a simple 20 minute outpatient affair.  Sophia was 8 days early from her due date of December 19.  She weighed 3.39 kg and is 51cm tall with a 34 cm head diameter.

Cheese Curd finally has a name (we are so bad at picking names!) – Sophia May Drake! 

Hugs from Singapore!
December 2011

Week 89 and Week 2.5 - Christmas!

As of yesterday Charlotte has been transitioned to one nap.  She has been so restless at night.  On Sunday she had no second nap and she slept through (or we turned the monitor off - how to know what really happened?).  So at the moment she is sleeping at 11 for 3 or 3.5 hours.  It is ok.

We celebrated Christmas and Charlotte was basically scared of all of her gifts.  She will warm up to them I know - but she is change averse.  Next year will be better when we are around others and she can feed off of the fun Christmas energy.

Charlotte continues to marvel us in her knowledge.  She says 'higher' for when she wants to be pushed higher on the swing - where did she learn that?  She also is an avid bird finder - she can see birds where no one else can outside our windows.  I am feeling a bit blue for not being able to spend more time with her - but as I am telling myself through this breastfeeding - this too shall pass.

This time around I have found the La Leche League International message boards.  They are nice and more supportive than my inner circle from the last time.

Breastfeeding is so hard.  I mean - I am so tired.  I am not having major issues with it but it is just an exercise in endurance.  I am waiting for the magic to happen - where it takes no time and I am so thrilled I kept with it and blah blah blah.  I hope that day comes sooner than later.

Sophia is still not pooping well.  We see the specialist again on Friday.  We gave her a suppository on Sunday and man did that open the floodgates!  I am trying not to be stressed, but you know, being Korean and all, we are very open about pooping (poop is health, as the saying goes).  I don't know if I can speak for all Koreans or just my family.  Ok, maybe just my sister and I.

Here is a video of Charlotte opening presents:

And one of Charlotte speaking more words:


Charlotte dotes on her sister:
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Check out those eyes!
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Charlotte models a new outfit for Sophia from Aunt Kalinda.  Now we need to find some cold weather (luckily there is always Wisconsin year round):
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Xmas presents!
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(goofy camera setting has Charlotte looking tan here):
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Charlotte is ambivalent about opening presents:
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Charlotte and Yaya play in the box house:
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Char plays!
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While Sophia yawns:
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Happy family in the park!
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Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Week 88 and Week 1.5 - Random thoughts on breastfeeding and others

Hello readers,

Still in the midst of breastfeeding - but it did get better surprisingly.  Although I think I nursed 18 hours 2 days ago.  I haven't supplemented since day 2 so this is a success in and of itself.

Below are some random thoughts from the week:
  • Uterine pains after the first day of breastfeeding were worse than labor. 
  • Sometimes 1 hour of sleep = functioning.
  • I felt like Sophia was sucking the marrow out of my bones on the 3rd night
  • I finally know what the let-down sensation is - it is sort of like sparks!
  • Sophia's original due date came and went without much pomp and circumstance.
  • My OB-GYN said I was built to make babies and was shocked I only had 5 minutes of pain.  I asked him if it was the hypnobirthing and he emphatically said "No, it is not the hypnobirthing."  So I suppose I can chalk it up to genetics.
  • Like Charlotte, Sophia hasn't 'gone' by herself since being in the hospital.  Why do we have kids with such slow bowels?  Hopefully this will resolve itself in the next week...
  • Sophia weighed 3.17 kg on Friday (5 days after birth)- 6% less than her birth weight which was a relief!  She weighed 3.29 kg yesterday.  The breastfeeding seems to be working...
  • Charlotte calls Sophia 'FI-A' (with a long I)
  • Charlotte now says "Come" if you say thank you
  • If you tell Charlotte "I love you" she replies "I'm fine!"
  • Thank goodness for Aunt Susie and Imee to help me take pictures of Charlotte this week!

Got to upload some videos this week - so here they are:

Final dinner at TGIF the Friday before Sophia was born!  Didn't know it was the last as a threesome (so glad we took Char out):

Moments after Sophia was born:

Charlotte meets Sophia for the first time:

Sophia before we checked out of the hospital:

Charlotte meets Sophia at home for the first time:

Sophia burping and sleeping:


Sophia with Daddy as Charlotte looks on:

And some photos (it is very hard to take a photo with Sophia's eyes open):

Charlotte dances near Sophia:
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And kisses her sister:
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Awake-ish:
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Accidentally matching:
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Cookie decorating (Aunt Susie can get better smiling shots of Charlotte than I can):
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Post decorating juice break:
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B&W of her awake photo from last week:
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Sleepy babushka:
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Thoughtful babushka:
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Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Week 87 and Week 0.5 - Welcome Cheese Curd!

Hi - I gave birth on Sunday morning and am in the midst of the boot camp that is called early breastfeeding.  So a short post... Cheese Curd was born in the hospital 33 minutes after my water broke (and 19 hours after I arrived there for what I thought was a minor thing) on Dec 11, 2011 at 3:49AM.  She weighed 3.39kg and was 51 cm at birth.  I had no drugs or interventions.  Some pictures are below.... oh and she has a name - Sophia May Drake.

More later...

Pre delivery family photo:
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Charlotte waits with Mama:
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Charlotte kisses the Cheese Curd:

Sophia shortly after birth:
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Cheeky weigh in:
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Potential first smile?
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Sophia's first birthday (or zero birthday?):
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Obligatory hospital family photo:
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Obligatory first moment home photo:
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Charlotte contemplates:

Our Xmas tree!  Finished the day before I went to the hospital:
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Awake!
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And asleep:
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Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Week 86 and Week 38 - Sick Charlotte

Is it a coincidence that the day that I stop working at Matt's is the day that Charlotte falls sick?  She has been getting up for the past few weeks for gas (we also learned Nan HA has lactose so have switched her).  Then she got a fever/cough thing that keeps her up for HOURS.  As in 4 hours 3 nights ago and 3 hours last night.  We have been to the doctor many times and she says it is not serious and the wet/awake cough is a sign for better days ahead.  Needless to say the house is tired.  We all need a big family bed nap (including Bucky).  Char has been sickly off and on for a while so hopefully this is a sign for a healthy-as-a-horse immune system soon...

I went to the doctor this week - the first time that he alluded that my baby may be big!  Egads.  She is now 3.3 kg or so - the same weight Charlotte was when she was born.  Miraculously I am not as puffy as I was with Char - I can still wear my wrist watch but admittedly things are getting sort of elephanty in the ankle department.  He has no idea when baby will come.  Of course many people think I will deliver any moment now (including sometimes myself).  He is now on holiday till the 13th.  I hope that the baby doesn't come while he is gone. 

It has not rained the last few days - so Charlotte has been able to play in the park in the afternoon which is great!  Of course it is hot as hell for me - from about noon onwards till I sleep I am just sweating buckets in our often breezeless house. 

On a lighter Charlotte note - we have been showing her these flash cards and she knows the word for.... dragon!  Her first abstract thing (meaning not in her daily life) that she has learned...

Charlotte points out the garbage truck:
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Charlotte and Daddy:
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Charleader and her cheerleader moves:
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Charlotte with a cousin Ava face:
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Serious Char in the car:
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Char pointing out the birds!
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Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Week 85 and Week 37 - Thanksgiving, Anniversary and Full term!

So it has been a busy week.  We were lucky to go to two Thanksgiving meals and we celebrated our 3 year wedding anniversary - all within a weekend!  I was ecstatic to make a pumpkin pie with a homemade crust - no small feat here in tropical Singapore!  This was probably the greatest culinary moment in 2011 for me.  I think I also took about 3 showers a day while in the kitchen this weekend as Cheese Curd Furnace + Hot Singapore + working over an oven makes for one hot mama!

Still working a lot at Matt's so no great park pictures this week.  
Charlotte is helping mom out in the kitchen and washing dishes.  She loves rinsing them out - she gets rather upset when we turn the water off.  Speaking of upset, we think Charlotte is starting the terrible twos a few months early.  She has had a few meltdowns - but these are now much louder, much more ' the sky is falling' meltdowns.  She has gotten up a few times this week and there is nothing like getting up to your child shrieking uncontrollably.  We thought maybe she was getting sick (she has had a runny nose for a couple of weeks and was tugging at her ear) so I took her to the doctor Monday and she is not sick (good) but may have gas (or as they say in this part of the world - wind) or teething issues overnight.  She is also skipping her second nap a couple of times a week.  Her active 'park' schedule has been off a bit thanks to torrential rain that has been relentless of late - so I think if she was at the park twice a day every day she would sleep better.  O well.  At least she gets to spend time at her BFF TT's house!  Today they looked at Xmas decorations on Orchard Road with Tita Monica and Yaya Imee.  Too cute - wish I could have been there!
Oh, and she is drinking out of a cup!  Now if we can just get her to drink milk out of a cup....

As for me - I went to the doctor and all is fine and the baby is 3kg and could come any day now.  The head is not engaged but one cough/contraction and it could be.  Doctor seems to think baby could come near my due date but maybe earlier?  I am on high alert.  I also got to do a CTG scan as I don't normally feel my contractions.  This is basically a fetal heart monitor that goes around your (big) belly.  And then you lie on a bed which equals taking a nap for 45 minutes for tired me.  I was supposed to hit a button when I felt a contraction and I did this... for the 5 minutes I was awake.  Happily my belly is not much bigger (this has been true for the last 3 months really) but in profile I really do look like Alfred Hitchcock's face:


Here are some headless friends modeling with the great spread at the Stampers!
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Charlotte helps stir the pie filling - but feels icky after getting some on her hand:
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Pumpkin pie!
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Lovely Susie channels Katie Brown!
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Cup drinking:
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Charlotte doing well at the doctor's:
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Char and Tita Monica before their Orchard Road adventures:
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Charlotte doesn't like her stroller much these days - but she still loves to play with the buckles!
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And videos this week:
Charlotte dances while watching Daddy's corporate video (longish at 3 minutes - dancing begins at 1:30 or so):

Charlotte helps make pumpkin pie:

Charlotte knows how to say things: